Hello and welcome! This little fortnightly column presents news and politics at its most absurd. SAtired supports freedom of speech, small government and free markets. This means we’re centrists. This is NOT a safe space!
The Weekly Squib*
- squib /skwɪb/ noun: squib 1. a small firework that issues a hissing sound before exploding into a short piece of satirical writing.
Covid Confusion – the government’s vaccine rollout
Health minister Zweli Mkhize said on Sunday 16 May that ‘there may be a slow start to the second phase of the Covid-19 vaccination rollout, but the numbers should pick up during the course of the month’.
The rollout of the Pfizer vaccination started on 17 May. The rollout is meant to be the first intended for people over the age of 60. The previous rollout wasn’t a rollout as such – the ‘rollout’ was the Sisonke trial aimed at vaccinating the healthcare sectors. It was subject to research.
Mkhize obviously has no faith in the public sector medical personnel who are tasked with this huge task.
Mkhize said ‘vaccine administrators may need to get comfortable with the vaccines before the country would see a steady incline in the number of vaccines administered daily’.
He said these were vaccines they had not used before, and they may therefore need time to acquaint themselves with certain things, like drawing the vaccines out of the vials!
We venture to suggest that if these vile vials are so much more complex to administer than the vaccinations generally given to the public, we should be concerned, very concerned.
The Sunday Times of 16 May said ‘that SA’s Covid-19 official vaccination roll-out will finally get under way tomorrow, amid concerns of chaos, a looming third wave and a glaring lack of information from the government’.
There have been ‘a few hiccups’ – community protests delayed vaccination at some sites.
‘We have said that we are targeting ultimately to use over 3 300 sites by end of September. We want to have wrapped up our vaccination to all the 250 000 people per day.’ Concerns are that we should have been at 250 000 per day already
Then Mkhize says they are looking at delaying the second dose of the Pfizer vaccine, as evidence from Britain indicates that people who have delayed taking the second dose developed stronger immunity against Covid-19. Really? Is that really the reason?
Then he says the numbers of vaccine doses that are currently coming into South Africa will not be enough to last the next two months. Government is trying to get more vaccines but, because of the delays, the deliveries will be received later in the year. That’s probably closer to the truth – they don’t have any and to get people back for the second dose is going to be challenging.
Mkhize said the leftover Sisonke vaccines administered to health workers would not be used in the second and third phase of the Covid-19 vaccination rollout. Instead, these would be used for further medical research.
If over 400 000 health workers have been safely vaccinated with the J&J vaccine, why can’t 99% of the rest be used now?
Is everyone clear now?
[Photo: Kristine Wook for unsplash]
When is ‘disproportionate’ not disproportionate?
Every time that Hamas has launched a barrage of rockets at Israel, Israel has been accused of a ‘disproportionate’ response because of its superior firepower.
It seems that rocket fire from Gaza isn’t considered an act of war, so Israel becomes the only country where a military response to an act of war is expected to be ‘proportionate’. One suspects that if the firepower were reversed, the accusation of ‘disproportionate’ wouldn’t be uttered.
Hamas has said that it launched the rocket attacks in response to the clashes between Palestinian protesters and Israeli police – which appear to be similar to all such clashes anywhere in the Western world.
But Hamas then started firing barrages of rockets towards Jerusalem on the basis that it was trying to protect the protesters.
The problem with that is:
- Hamas rockets are aimed at civilian populations;
- West Jerusalem abuts East Jerusalem, and Israel being the size of the Kruger Park, there’s no guarantee that Muslims may not be victims instead of Jews;
- Some areas nearby are mixed, so the same applies.
This dubious ‘protection’ would suggest one of two things: the response takes ‘disproportionate’ to another level, or the protection of the rioters is not the real reason for the attacks.
A woman’s touch
Finally, we end with a sweet story that will gladden the hearts of feminists everywhere, and, my, those hearts need gladdening. The feminist movement has been under attack by the radical transgender movement for saying that transgender women are not biological women.
Constable Amy Fielding, according to News24, ‘strikes an imposing figure as she climbs into a SAPS Casspir’. The article says this is so notwithstanding that Constable Fielding is only 1.6m tall.
Fielding is the first woman in the Northern Cape to obtain a licence to drive a Casspir. She is also the only person in her 55-man unit who has a licence to drive a Casspir. Fielding is attached to the Public Order Policing Unit in Springbok.
When asked what driving the heavy vehicle is like, she said that it ‘just takes some concentration’.
Fielding’s unit is frequently dispatched to quell unrest and manage crowds across the province. She says, though, that having grown up in the small town of Steinkopf, about 45 km from Springbok, she loves seeing new places as part of her duties.
‘I love that public order policing allows you to meet new people and go to new places. It’s nice to travel, especially when you’re from a small town’.
As Spike Milligan famously had Queen Victoria say: ‘Join up and travel to distant and exotic places. Meet interesting and exciting people, and then kill them.’
Fielding says people sometimes try to take advantage of the fact that she is small and a woman.
Advice to service delivery protesters? Beware of women drivers!
Fielding’s next challenge is to qualify to drive a police Nyala.
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