Around December last year an X account began attracting attention in the UK. It belonged to a man called Hiroshi Suzuki and he had recently been appointed Japanese Ambassador to the Court of St. James.

It was clear that Mr. Suzuki was a man of fine taste: his suits and jackets were exceptional Japanese tailoring, possibly Noriyuki Ueki, and his footwear possibly Hiro Yanagimachi. In every photo his hair was perfectly coiffed. He was − importantly − never not smiling.

Soon Mr. Suzuki was attracting more and more followers. Every post celebrated features of the land he found himself in − there were no grievance politics, no controversial statements and no virtue-signalling: you got the feeling that his enthusiasm for the UK was genuine when a photo appeared of him immaculately dressed, holding a pint of lager in one hand and a thumbs-up in the other, outside a famous landmark (The Churchill Arms) captioned “enjoying pub!” (Note: not the pub, just “pub” − which could be interpreted as both Asian and northern English). When he sang the Welsh national anthem in Cymraeg, Land of my Fathers, remarks that Mr. Suzuki appeared to love the United Kingdom more than the politicians the country elects flooded the comments. 

Mr. Suzuki endeared himself quickly, with an awesome expression of soft power. An effort in recent years led by academics and corporate parasites to scold the British, saying that the sum total of their history is bigoted and racist, has been hugely damaging. Surrounded by presentism and its associated forces, a sense of tortured pride has resulted in hostility and rapid low trust. Amidst this desire for the past to swallow the future − ostensibly what all progressives want − a man from Japan captures feelings that locals long to restore. 

Tony Leon applied similar logic in Argentina. He noted that Los Pumas, despite being on the up, weren’t being included in the international rugby calendars to the extent that other, equally isolated jurisdictions were, so he initiated Argentina’s entry into the annual Rugby Championship, earning respect from the country’s sporting ranks. Dumisani Khumalo’s sometimes puzzling behaviour at the UN in the mid-2000s had resulted in rising suspicion. Tony Leon behaved differently, and exited his role with admiration. 

Accelerated decline

I got to know two other Ambassadors. In London I walked in Regents Park in the afternoons of the 2020 lockdown with Woody Johnson, the first Trump administration’s Ambassador. He was energetic, well-intentioned but occasionally frustrated at the accelerated decline of London under Mayor Sadiq Khan. In the mid-2000s I got know Guillermo Pomi, Uruguay’s Ambassador to Pretoria, just as he started his term, and witnessed his grip of the initiative: he noted that South Africans loved the sea, so began marketing the beautiful Uruguayan coast of San José Ignacio to locals tired of being fleeced by the exorbitant prices of the French Riviera. 

Neither man would ever claim to be a genius, although Guillermo was appointed Ambassador to Argentina in 2010 − generally considered the prize job for that country’s diplomats. Before anything else, they were pragmatists who believed that diplomacy done well resulted in benefits and opportunities in places where they didn’t before. 

I also met some diplomats who didn’t distinguish themselves. In 2015 it was Alexander Downer, the former Australian High Commissioner to the UK, who was certainly pompous, probably because his father was also High Commissioner to the UK. Downer positioned himself at the heart of the Trump Russia collusion scam; even his former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull admitted in his biography that Downer entered that farce representing a group or groups ex the Australian government. His is not an example worth following. Ditto Sir Kim Darroch, the UK’s Ambassador to the US from 2016 to 2019, who resigned when leaked diplomatic cables exposed him insulting Trump.

Now the ANC, tellingly overprotective of the international affairs portfolio in the GNU, has tapped Mcebisi Jonas to improve trade relations and, hopefully, save AGOA. The Americans already knew Jonas, thanks to MTN’s Iranian adventures. Now they know him more courtesy of comments he made in a lecture in 2020. 

Stupid and unnecessary

Like most comments about Trump’s character, these were stupid and unnecessary − just fashionable. Jonas didn’t know Trump, only the fetid, over-medicated South African legacy media landscape. Who didn’t know Trump either. 

Fortunately for Jonas, there is some precedent in healing. Peter Mandelson, the UK’s Ambassador to Washington, also uttered fashionable insults but apologised profusely. At 1300 Washington Avenue, Mandelson has reportedly threatened all staffers with dismissal should they be caught talking at work like Des Bailes and Adriaan Basson standing around a plant-based grill. Trump’s own deputy and his Secretary of State were once guilty of the same: if Trump hadn’t been raised in the ruthless corporate environment of New York real estate, he’d have thinner skin (the difference between what Jonas, Mandelson, Vance et al said, and what Ebrahim Rasool said, is that the latter spoke in extremist language). 

Fewer verticals offer incoming candidates more guidance at the top than current Trump administration diplomacy. The first five rules are academic: don’t be fooled by legacy media narratives, don’t be stupid, don’t be entitled, don’t be an extremist and don’t be led by grievance. 

The second set of rules require enterprise but are no less clear. Hiroshi Suzuki has amplified the perception of Japan in the UK public eye as a land of thoughtful and willing people − guests who would be invited back. In contrast South Africans have not only had the embarrassment of Ebrahim Rasool in the US to process, but now Thandile Babalwa Sunduza too − who has been embarrassing the country since her posting to Los Angeles in 2020. 

Compliment the Americans

For Jonas and those who follow him to Washington, it doesn’t cost much not to be an idiot. Self-awareness, a phone − and trips to Zion National Park or the Everglades. Compliment the Americans on the beautiful parts of their country, attend college football games and Texas smokehouses. If it is too much to ask ANC policy to spike the identity politics, then at least do so stylishly − visit jazz trios in New Orleans or Bobby Jackson tribute acts in Montgomery. If the Americans observe visitors enjoying their country, chances are they’ll warm to them. 

Japanese diplomacy to the UK aims to make something that is good, better. South African diplomacy to America should be aiming not to make things any worse. But they can be the same: losing the appearance of the ANC’s sense of entitlement, successfully navigating the awkward, ideological bends of communists becoming bosses of hyper-capitalist mobile networks, working around the scenes as Peter Mandelson does and Tony Leon did will be essential. Most of all, just be a gracious guest, like Hiroshi Suzuki. 

[Image: Foreign Secretary David Lammy with Japanese Ambassador to the UK Hiroshi Suzuki. Picture by Elliot Vick / FCDO https://www.flickr.com/photos/foreignoffice/54349706061]

The views of the writer are not necessarily the views of the Daily Friend or the IRR.

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Simon Reader grew up in Cape Town before moving to Johannesburg in 2001, where he was an energy entrepreneur until 2014. In South Africa, he wrote a weekly column for Business Day, then later Biznews.com. Today he manages a fund based in London, is a trustee of an educational charity, and lives between the UK and California.