The hundreds of outraged comments on my columns recommending Covid-19 vaccines have forced me to admit: I am part of the vaccine conspiracy. Here’s how it works.
I write this from my Big Oil yacht, because my Big Pharma yacht is having a heated indoor swimming pool installed, courtesy of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation in appreciation for my recent columns promoting Covid-19 vaccinations.
Bill and I go way back. He got in touch with me back in the 1990s, when I was a technology journalist writing mean things about Windows 95. He recruited me then, but told me to continue dissing Microsoft at every opportunity, to maintain plausible deniability of being on the Gates payroll.
Nobody would take my criticism of Microsoft seriously, he promised. Everyone would continue to use Microsoft software infested with viruses, trojans and security holes you can drive a fleet of Russian hackers through.
He was right. I use Arch Linux now (humble brag) and haven’t seen a virus in 20 years, but all my friends and family still use Windows. Bill’s buddies Peter Norton and John McAfee got stinking rich off antivirus and security software, but that didn’t stop the Russian and Chinese hackers on Bill’s payroll from stealing billions, fomenting civil unrest in the West, and even stealing elections for Bill’s friends in the Democratic Party.
Depopulation
Gates, like all of the billionaire psychopaths at the World Economic Forum, is a big fan of eugenics. And why wouldn’t he be? Wouldn’t the world be a much better place if everyone was at least a dollar millionaire, and people who couldn’t manage even that small feat were eliminated from the gene pool?
Being a psychopath myself, I felt right at home working for these guys.
The problem with the world is all the poor people. For humanity to become truly free and prosperous, not to mention green enough to make Saint Greta Thunberg a little less grumpy, we must kill off the weak, the stupid and the poor, or at least stop them from breeding.
Rich people make their money by trading derivatives, not by selling stuff to the poor, so why should they need to subsidise the poor’s welfare payments and healthcare?
So Bill came up with this brilliant idea, known as his ‘depopulation agenda’. He was so proud of it, he even did television interviews explaining it all. The idea was simple. Just tell all the poor people that they need ‘vaccines’ against ‘diseases’, and then you can inject them with drugs that sterilise or kill them.
Just do it
To make sure that nobody saw the plot coming, unless they watched TV, Gates bribed the World Health Organisation.
The WHO would cause pandemic outbreaks, and then tell everyone to get vaccinated. There were a few trial runs with diseases like swine flu (not contagious enough) and Ebola (too virulent), but you’ll notice that the WHO really didn’t do much to help fight those outbreaks, even though that is its official mandate. That’s all part of the plan, of course, because the WHO totally signed on to Bill’s depopulation agenda.
Finally, the Chinese managed to create the perfect virus in their bioweapon labs in Wuhan. I remember on our weekly Microsoft Teams meeting, Bill was as excited as a schoolboy. ‘Do it!’ he said to Xi Jinping, ‘Just do it!’
Nike sued Gates and won, but a few million dollars can’t hurt the likes of Gates.
But Xi did as Gates ordered, unleashed Covid-19 on the world. The Chinese quickly got it under control, but in the rest of the world, it was glorious. All the old, the weak and the sickly were dying like flies.
Co-opting governments
For years, Gates and his co-conspirators had been working hard to get the world’s governments on his side. This was a massive operation. He had to replace millions of honest, moral politicians and civil servants with venal, corrupt toadies, who could be relied upon for absolute loyalty and, above all, secrecy.
All the many leaks from governments around the world had to be forged, to make sure that nothing about Gates’ conspiracy to take over the world’s governments ever leaked. Julian Assange and Edward Snowden actually work for Gates, and carefully sanitised all the leaks before publishing them.
When the coronavirus arrived, Gates told governments around the world to shut down their economies and put everyone under house arrest. This was the big test. Would they do it? Would anyone spill the beans?
There was great alarm about Sweden, which did not obey, and about Donald Trump, the incorruptible fighter for the common man. But largely the plan worked, and the global economy came to a grinding halt.
Gates knew that these shutdowns would only hurt the lower and middle classes, while the rich would be fine, because they didn’t rely on plebeian things like jobs with wages. Instead, Bill told the central banks to make the money printer go brrrrrr, knowing that all that boodle would go straight into stock markets, where the rich people were getting richer from their derivatives and credit default swaps.
Disaster!
Then disaster struck. People started wearing masks. This reduced the impact of the virus, and even caused some countries to open up their economies again. It also flummoxed the AI face-recognition on all the CCTV cameras installed in every city in the world. This could not stand.
So with the help of the Russian media, Gates started spreading the rumour that masks were useless against the coronavirus, and, in fact, masks caused even worse symptoms by causing bacterial and fungal lung infections.
The next phase of the conspiracy was now afoot. If you believe the media, companies like Pfizer and Moderna took two days to develop a vaccine against SARS-CoV-2. That is obviously nonsense. Those vaccines already existed. That is why Gates has been experimenting with vaccines in Africa for years.
Nanobots
Since his retirement from Microsoft, Gates has also been developing nanobots that can track people via 5G towers. He was always a bit sore that Google and Apple could track everyone using the GPS in their phones, but nobody wanted to switch to a Windows Phone instead.
Facebook, which also owns Instagram and WhatsApp, could track people and their contacts through their social networks, and all the photos they uploaded with geolocation tags attached. In a fiendishly clever move, Facebook even got people to identify their friends in their photos, so the Big Brother AI could be trained to recognise dissenters. Gates felt left out; hence the nanobot plan.
It was a bit of a challenge to get nanometre-scale antennas to send and receive millimetre-scale radio waves, but Bill is a genius and wouldn’t let fundamental physics stop his ambitions. To solve the problem, he repurposed car tyre valve cores to act as 5G antennas for the nanobots.
Nanobots get injected into people by convincing them that they are actually being vaccinated against a virus. It was a challenge to get people to do that, knowing that vaccines cause autism, allergies, ADHD, chronic fatigue syndrome, mental illness and far more deaths than the diseases they’re supposed to work against.
Recruiting doctors
Cleverly, Gates and his conspiracy cronies got millions of doctors and nurses all over the world to go along with the plan.
Now we all know that doctors are only in it for the money. I mean, why else would you study for seven to ten years, and then spend your life removing haemorrhoids and genital warts, draining cysts, performing digital prostate exams, and listening to old men whine about their flaccid members?
The trick was to hit them in the pocket. They were told that Big Pharma fringe benefits, like branded pens and mousepads, free prescription pads, and golf shirts could be easily withdrawn if they ever disclosed the truth to their patients.
Almost none of the world’s healthcare professionals breathed a word about the plot. Nurses dutifully did what the doctors told them to do. All of them went along with the plan, making sure that people who died of car accidents or heart attacks were registered as Covid-19 deaths, and telling their patients to get vaccinated, or else they’d die.
As we speak, millions of people are getting inoculated with 5G nanobots (well, tyre valves). To date, only one genius on Facebook cottoned on:
Truth-tellers
Trump and Sweden weren’t the only major challenges to the Bill Gates conspiracy. We also had to deal with naturopaths, homeopaths, and crystal healers, who were running interference by telling the truth.
Alternative medicine practitioners aren’t motivated by money or fame. They try to keep up appearances by charging $300 for an initial telephone consultation, but they know they’re not going to get the Big Pharma swag anyway, so there was really no way to strong-arm them into the plot.
That’s where propagandists like me come in. My job, and the job of journalists like Brian Deer, who went after the brave dissident Dr. Andrew Wakefield, was to discredit the people who told the truth about vaccines.
We would attack their characters in the media. We would make sure that their research papers never got published by respectable journals, or if they did, got humiliatingly retracted.
We reported them to social media platforms, so they would get banned by Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, forcing them to go to sites like Bitchute, Parler and Gab which have almost no users.
QAnon
The QAnon disclosures almost derailed the entire thing. Q was one of Bill’s trusted lieutenants, until he went rogue. His followers on 4chan, 8kun and other censorship-resistant corners of the internet were onto the conspiracy right from the start.
They knew that the 5G nanobots – of which there are 666 in each injection – are the mark of the beast, without which nobody will be allowed to buy or sell. They even got the cabal’s involvement in paedophilia rings spot on, and famously cracked the scheme whereby billionaires would put children up for sale disguised as furniture. My colleagues on Bill’s payroll had to act quickly to quash that one!
It took a while, but we eventually got the FBI, who are of course also on the Gates payroll, to denounce them as a domestic terrorist threat. Now that social media platforms have banned them, as well as their revered leader, Trump, we Gates conspiracists can rest easier, and get on with the vaccination plot.
Resist!
So there you have it. This conspiracy is so vast and wide, people say that it couldn’t exist. They say you couldn’t possibly get the Chinese, the Russians and the West to cooperate. They say you couldn’t possibly get millions of civil servants in every single country to keep the conspiracy secret. They say you couldn’t possibly get millions of doctors and nurses on board if they knew the truth.
They’re wrong. The conspiracy is real, and the truth is out there. Resist! Whatever you do, don’t let yourself get injected with a car tyre valve core. It is not as innocent as it seems.
I’m just a small cog in the machine, but at least it paid for one of my yachts. Speaking of which, my wife is calling from the sundeck. I really hope she doesn’t discover that I revealed the plot. If she tells Bill, I can forget about that heated indoor pool, not to mention the Big Pharma swag.
[Picture: Tumisu from Pixabay]
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