The UK is about to have a new Prime Minister, or not, but if it is, the condition has already been set.
He must be a gay. They’ve done women – of whom only one was a success, they’ve done a brown guy – which was manifestly unsuccessful, but appearances were all that mattered. Now, it’s time for a gay.
But according to one of the capital’s most popular newspapers, Metro, Wes Streeting, the reasonably-likable gay Health Secretary and someone suspected of being on the Prime Ministerial make, isn’t the kind of gay desired. Apparently he was too mean to the trans community and must thus be disqualified. At the time of writing I cannot locate any evidence of him persecuting trans people, only allegations that he warned doctors not to initiate gender transitions without the knowledge of the trans patient’s parents. So not quite tying people up in a bathtub then menacingly dangling a toaster just above the waterline, but perhaps seeking consent is racist.
Happily Metro has presented the right candidate for our benefit, which is nice of them. That is Zack Polanski, leader of the Greens, and the right kind of gay.
Admittedly I’m not learned in these things. Do the gays possess secret powers capable of reducing borrowing costs? Have they designed magic formulas that can create jobs or build houses or repair fractured societal cohesion? So I asked an especially compassionate gay friend of mine: were you born with skin over your face? He shrugged before explaining that politics is a decade downstream culture: the gays are no longer fashionable will only be used as a stalking horse for a future trans candidate – and that, apparently, is the real objective here, you see. Fashion, music and film are already there, some sport too – it’s late in the day for politics.
Its probably not worth having elections if this is the kind of thinking that floods the commentary days after the party in government loses nearly 1,500 council seats in local elections. A society like Norway could have a decadent conversation like this if it wanted – where service delivery isn’t really an issue and actual intelligence has been applied to the exploitation of the country’s natural resources, making everyone fabulously wealthy.
But you’ve got to admire Keir Starmer’s nerve, if nothing else. With an expression akin to a polony slice, he appeared on television quickly and early on Friday before even a quarter of the councils had declared their results to remark that he would not resign, despite what would be the biggest local election loss in his party’s history – despite being the most unpopular since records began. No, he said, no going – because the alternative would mean chaos,
That’s the universal pandering white liberal ego speaking – the mind of the man who falls asleep each night repeating “I am an anti-racist, I am an anti-racist.” You can find the same thing in Australia, Canada, parts of the European Union – the idea that you’re elected because of your superior “values”, and these alone warrant permanence.
There were some quite important issues raised during the local elections. People shitting on pavements in London, as one example.
One brave Labour councillor had decided this wasn’t on, encountered some opposition – mostly from white opponents who felt depriving people the opportunity to drop their guts along the Thames Embankment was insensitive – but soldiered on, and ended up turfing out the incumbent. But this overworked soul’s victory, and others like it, have been barged out of prominence or priority by a discussion on the specifications of gays.
Starmer’s nerve surfaced on Monday again when he announced his 4th government reset in two years. On the weekend he hauled out two former Labour profiles from the past to deal with tomorrow’s problems. One of them once declared her love of Fidel Castro on radio (Harriet Harman) – the other (Gordon Brown) sold his nation’s gold reserves at their lowest price (but not before he told the market he was going to).
What Starmer felt necessary to include in his 4th reset speech was that he would cancel the visas for speakers lined up to address the Unite the Kingdom protest march scheduled for Saturday the 17th, led by Tommy Robinson. This is a priority item. Those he has banned from traveling include Spanish and Polish politicians. But all those canceled now do is tell their followers on social media that they will be live streamed – so follow the event’s virtual feed. This means that in addition to the hundreds of thousands of people physically attending, another hundred thousand or so will now be watching on YouTube, listening to accounts of Starmer’s latest adventure with free speech – and getting mad.
Hope that the election results meant messages sent and received, underperforming ministers put on notice and the Treasury stripped of its enragingly daft personnel is evidently crushed. Investment bankers don’t really participate in the wake of municipal affairs but JP Morgan’s Jamie Dimon – ordinarily based in New York – has had enough, and has declared that too much messing around will force him to rethink a £3b investment. “Shut up Jamie,” the UK appears to be responding, “we’re broke and stupid and we will have a gay Prime Minister in our lifetime.”
The hysteria generated by this week’s radioactive identity politics – at a time usually reserved for sober reflection – ultimately suggests a country as close to ungovernable as could possibly be. So the only solution is to suspend all future elections until politicians, the media and quarters of the electorate start behaving like they deserve them.
[Image: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Keir_Starmer_and_Yvette_Cooper.jpg]
The views of the writer are not necessarily those of the Daily Friend or the IRR.
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