RFK Jr., the former heroin addict, convicted felon and environmental tort lawyer, is worried about chronic disease, but he has an ingenious plan.
History will eventually recognise Robert F. Kennedy Jr. not merely as a Secretary of Health and Human Services, but as the vanquisher of cancer, the conqueror of chronic disease, and the champion of humanity’s return to nature.
While the corrupt and conflicted “experts” at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institutes of Health have spent decades bamboozling the public with the arcane rituals of the scientific method – testing vaccines, policing water purity, and developing preventative cancer screenings – Kennedy has intuited a much more elegant, holistic solution to the curse of cancer and chronic disease.
His plan is a masterstroke of common sense: he will bring cancer rates down dramatically by ensuring that nobody is inconvenienced by the burden of living long enough to develop a tumour.
Scientific priesthood
For years, the priesthood of mainstream medicine has tried to gaslight us with the “data” found in the SEER and Our World in Data reports. These pedants (and others) point out that while total cancer cases are rising, it is only because we’re better at detecting them, and the population is larger and – infuriatingly – older.
While the per-capita cancer death rate remains a little higher than in 1950, they claim that the crude death rate of cancer peaked in the early 1990s, and that Americans are actually one-third less likely to die of cancer at the same age than they were then. And if you adjust for age, the cancer death rate is far lower than at any time in history, and falling fast.
They cite falling smoking rates, earlier diagnosis, much broader preventative screening, and treatments that dramatically improve the prognosis for most cancers, as “progress.”
They claim that lower rates of vaccine-preventable diseases, infectious diseases, surgical and other medical complications, foodborne and waterborne illnesses, trauma, and injuries all conspire to make people live long enough to suffer disproportionately from the degenerative conditions of age, like cancer and cardiovascular disease.
Propagandists
Secretary Kennedy cannot be fooled. He knows that these people are just propagandists for the capitalist chemical-industrial complex, bamboozling the public into ignoring cellphone radiation, forever chemicals, fluoride in the drinking water, too many vaccines, chemtrails and school breakfast programmes that make poor kids fat.
RFK Jr. understands that the real epidemic isn’t the cancer itself, but the unnatural longevity that allows it to manifest. If the Enlightenment gave us the hubris to believe we could outrun the Four Horsemen, Kennedy is here to prove the science cultists wrong.
The ingenuity of the Kennedy Doctrine lies in its multifaceted approach to mortality.
Why waste billions on “breakthrough” melanoma immunotherapies like Replimune’s RP1 – which the Secretary quashed, bravely defending the rejection based on the creative fact that it was a chemotherapy trial (it wasn’t) – when we can simply return to a more natural state of being?
By dismissing all 17 experts from the Advisory Committee on Immunisation Practices and replacing them with ideologically aligned sceptics of Big Science, the Secretary is finally giving the measles a fair chance at the neighbourhood kindergarten.
Fruit of wisdom
We have already seen the early fruit of this wisdom. In South Carolina, almost a thousand people who liberated their children from the toxins of the MMR vaccine experienced a vibrant, old-fashioned measles outbreak.
While critics decry the deaths of two children as “unnecessary” and “tragic”, they fail to see the silver lining: those two children will now never have to worry about prostate cancer or geriatric dementia.
This is a pre-emptive strike of sheer inspiration.
The Secretary’s Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) vision further secures this future by targeting the processed food system, food stamps and school meals, while he keeps corrupt congresscritters off his back with a small but necessary white lie: “I don’t want to take food away from anybody. If you like a McDonald’s cheeseburger or a Diet Coke, which my boss loves, you should be able to get them.”
In the shadows
Yet RFK’s most effective work is in the administrative shadows. By clawing back $11 billion in state and local public health funding, he has effectively shuttered the surveillance state that used to nag people about E. coli in their lettuce or salmonella in their poultry.
True Enlightenment values suggest we should learn from our environment; what better way to learn about the dangers of raw milk or unwashed spinach than a bracing, character-building bout of kidney failure?
Furthermore, by halting NIH research into mRNA and infectious diseases, and pushing out career experts, Kennedy is ensuring that the “next pandemic” won’t be met with the sterile, artificial response of a vaccines and non-pharmaceutical public health interventions. Instead, we will meet it the way God intended: by self-medicating with high-dose Vitamin A, high-dose Vitamin D, the cancer cure-all ivermectin, all of these plus zinc, and a stoic acceptance of our mortality.
The Secretary’s critics call this a “public health apocalypse”. I call it a return to liberty in its most literal sense – freedom from the tyranny of the 80th birthday.
Empty oncology wards
If we continue to dismantle the childhood immunisation schedule, remove the “brain-zapping” fluoride from our water, and continue to treat health agencies as creative writing workshops for “alternative facts”, the cancer trends will inevitably plummet.
It’s genius, really. When the average life expectancy returns to its more natural level, the oncology wards will be practically empty.
We’ve spent centuries trying to cure these diseases. They’re still here. That’s proof positive that the scientific cult has failed, and that there’s a corporate conspiracy to keep us chronically ill.
RFK Jr. is the trailblazer the world needs. He is the only public official who has had the courage to recognise that we just needed to cure the patient of their selfish habit of clinging to life.
It is a triumph of political will over the peer-reviewed journal. By consigning enough people to an early grave, the survivors will on average be younger and healthier, and we won’t have to look at alarming chronic disease or cancer charts ever again.
[Image: Robert F. Kennedy Jr. selling quack remedies from his caravan. Adapted from A quack doctor selling remedies from his caravan; satirising Gladstone’s advocacy of the Home Rule Bill in Parliament. Chromolithograph by T. Merry, 1889, from the Wellcome Collection. Used under CC BY 4.0 licence.]
The views of the writer are not necessarily the views of the Daily Friend or the IRR.
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