With the municipal elections less than two months away, people are casting the prediction dice with doses of aspersion. Opinions abound left, right and centre.
Helen Zille looms large over Johannesburg’s potholes, with a hint of ANC alliance in the air. On the ground, the Twittering classes are stomping feet and shaking fists towards the very idea of voting.
There is much discussion amongst the Twitterati about abandoning elections and adopting a form of anarcho-libertarianism instead. The RS podcast, which represents the rational standard of libertarianism in South Africa, holds a participative view and shared some voting roadmaps and cautions. Chief Rabblerouser, Martin van Staden, said that, while the ANC had done some real damage to itself, they are PR experts: “They do things that look horrible, but when they put their minds to it, they run a very well-oiled PR machine. They control the sentiment of mainstream media at least and can get a public narrative going very quickly. Never underestimate the ANC; that is a mistake people always make.” Zakhlele Mthembu has, for this election, crossed a difficult ideological pothole to show open support for Helen Zille. Not necessarily because he is a fan of the DA, but he wants to save Johannesburg so his grandmother can have uninterrupted water for once. He predicts a bad performance for the ANC but fears the DA might need to go into a coalition. Van Staden rules out a coalition with Action SA because “Mashaba had a mental breakdown, so that coalition simply cannot happen. It is not an ideological rift; it was a mental break.” He further said that Zille cannot be trusted to not go into coalition with the ANC even though they promised they wouldn’t. “I do not believe her. I do not trust the DA on this,” said Van Staden. The DA kicked South Africans in the nuts in 2024.” He was referring to Zille suing a national newspaper for suggesting they would go into coalition with the ANC – and then actually going into the aforesaid coalition. Mthembu shook his head and with his whole body said: “I would make it my life’s mission to decampaign the DA if they do that with my vote, I swear! Any shade of a deal cannot involve the ANC having a mayor.”
The Sizwe Mpofu Walsh podcast interviewed Lord Peter Hain, a former anti-apartheid activist who now serves in the British government and House of Lords. His family left South Africa as exiles after the ANC was banned. His parents belonged to the Liberal Party in the 1960’s. The liberals then believed in full democracy: ‘one person, one vote.” The progressives like Helen Suzman had a slightly different idea. It is quite remarkable how the phrase ‘progressive’ and ‘liberal’ has shifted over time, with some liberals and communists alike wondering whether democracy was such a good idea. Watching a gin-soaked old colonial talking to a bright and erudite young black man is a free TV show many expected never to see. We forget how far we have travelled since Mandela was in jail. Hain shares colourful stories of the effectiveness of the sports boycotts at the time, during which they took militant action on the cricket fields and at Twickenham, by running onto the fields and stopping the game. One can only imagine what would happen to anti-SA protesters today if they dared to do that during a Bok game. He said the ANC of today is guilty of a betrayal of many people, including himself. “The values of justice, equality, and human rights have been subverted and downgraded in what has been a feeding frenzy, the most brazen and shameless under former president Zuma.” He said that both the ANC and Apartheid regimes were corrupt and subject to manipulation by international financial machinery and the negative effects of neoliberalism.
“Beware of the Comrades,” says Concerned Citizen. Sporting a crisp, clean, African silhouette and an impressive YouTube following of 167k, Katlego Moagi warns citizens to scrutinize political leadership and avoid absolute dependence on ruling party structures. She has an elegant, acerbic quality to her delivery, lending itself to extremely harsh judgements of government without overt emotion. It is a fresh way of discourse for right-leaning commentators, who tend to be bearded and reactive, with a hint of khaki. ‘Cyril Ramaphosa loves his party more than he loves you,” she tells voters. “I mean, clearly he hates you when he encourages you to vote for lazy, incompetent and corrupt politicians when there are better options available,” she says, with a sardonic smile on her perfectly painted red lips. “Vote differently. And that means staying away from the ANC babies as well – the EFF and MK – they are all ANC. Look elsewhere for alternatives.”
Podcast Report street survey:
Murmurings amongst the highly degreed, supremely IQ’d and fully medical aided include: “The problem with voting”, said one, “Is that the government always gets in.” Another quip: “If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.” From the opposite side of the demographic spectrum in all respects, the teller at the Pick n Pay came to a similar conclusion: “I am not voting this year. I never see any change.” Perhaps my favourite analysis of why democracy and voting are useful ideas came from this WA pundit with his Incumbent Bastard Theory: ‘However blemished government is, the rational approach to elections is always to vote for opposition parties, ideally but not necessarily the strongest one, and then immediately switch to the one they unseated as soon as they succeed. Party manifestos are pretty much meaningless, as are election promises; they’re always lies. But that’s not the point. While everybody’s focusing on voting the bastards out, the other bastards who either used to be in power and/or want to get in power again are probably the best qualified lobby to be an effective constraint on the excesses of the current bastards. That’s the secret sauce of democracy: it keeps the bastards-in-waiting busy keeping tabs on the incumbent bastards, and all the energy they spend on that isn’t being deployed on dreaming up new ways to shaft the citizenry. That’s pretty much the best we can hope for.”
For a better South Africa, and most importantly, for Zakes’ grandmother, Viva!
Vivienne Vermaak is an award-winning journalist and keynote speaker.
The views of the writer are not necessarily the views of the Daily Friend or the IRR.
If you like what you have just read, support the Daily Friend